Friday, September 23, 2011

Newb Confessional

I will admit that I'm a dork and here's the proof: I couldn't wait to do my first Confession! I was so anxious I think because here I was attending Mass and RCIA every week without this huge dirty cloud of sin and general ickiness hanging over me. Ugh, how could anyone sit behind me during Mass? Could they even see through that swampy mess?

Anyway, the priest and I finally made an appointment so that I could make my first confession. I was smiling going in but once I closed the door and sat in the chair across from the Father, I realized that I was now in a molasses nightmare. A molasses nightmare is where the guy with the chainsaw, jello shots, and baggy pants is chasing you and the atmosphere has turned into thick molasses, filling your nose and brain with sticky goo. The gift of a moveable let alone pliable tongue left me. I lost all sensation of peripheral vision.

Fortunately I had a list of sin hints to help me because I'd pretty much forgotten everything that I absolutely had to confess (except the big one, which the priest already knew about). For you cradle Catholics, let me just tell you that forty odd years (YEARS) of sins is overwhelming. Especially if your motto in your twenties and thirties was to live like you mean and leave an ugly corpse. So I read down the list, alphabetically. Mumbling. I'd say the word, sink a little deeper into my chair, squirm, say another word. I think I might have even confessed to something that was physically impossible.

I have to say that I've read how other people leave the confessional feeling awesome but for me, I've got to get out of the shadow of that little room and into a pew before I start feeling squeaky clean and filled with peace and light. It's the monster who lived under the basement stairs or in the barn at night all over again. I wasn't at all worried about the creepy green and putrefying claws until I turned out the last light and was heading back towards the light in the house or at the top of the stairs. Then I knew with absolute certainty that it was coming for me. I could feel the very tips of those poison-dripping hands reaching for the back of my neck. RUN!

"What's wrong?" Asked Mom as I slid into the safety of the light.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Nothing." Breathe.

I love going to confession, so if you're behind me in line, know that I'll be grinning and smiling encouragingly (dork-like) before I go in.

But don't stand too close to the door when I come out, I'll be moving quick.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Can You Change?

From Ezekial 36:24-27

For I will take you from the nations, gather you from all the lands and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Can a Homosexual Become a Heterosexual

I am a moderately active participant in the Apologetics Forum on Catholic Answers Forum. Same sex marriage, homosexuality, masturbation and birth control are all frequent topics over there. One such recent thread was called Can a Homosexual Become a Heterosexual. My friend InSearchofGrace wrote something that then inspired me. Here is her quote and then following my thoughts.

If I have not mentioned it yet in this thread, by God's grace and the individual's motivation, a homosexual can become a heterosexual. For those who are unable to re-orient their sexual attraction away from the same sex and towards the opposite sex, acting on homosexual urges may be sublimated, making for an exquisite offering to God.

Yes, exactly.

I believe that these discussions come about in large part because in the 20th and now 21st century, we came to believe that sex is some sort of inalienable right. Subconsciously it would appear that we as a society believe that if someone is denied "the right to have sex" then that person will (a) explode, (b) die, (c) suffer physical and mental illnesses, and/or (d) become a pedophile. We equate sex with love and love with sex. If someone isn't having sex, then they aren't being loved.

Read many of the posts on this topic on CAF and the sub-text is often just this message. Have you ever noticed how if someone says that they don't watch TV or says they don't a TV, you have this sort of petty "i hate them" kind of thought? Come on, you know what I'm talking about. I think it's the same thing with illicit sex. If you're having or have had or like thinking about illicit sex, then you can't stand the person who rejects illicit sex. You have to bring them down to your level, otherwise, how can you feel good about yourself?

The focus should actually be on God's commandments, God's love sustaining us, and "love others as I have loved you" meaning that the highest form of love is a pure, non-sexual love.

If someone were to ask me how I identify these days, my answer would be simply, "fully compliant with the Catholic Church" because I do not believe that anyone's focus should be on sexuality, it should be on God and being not submissive to God's will, but in full uniformity with God's will. "Thy will be done, and because it is Thy will, it is mine as well."[/QUOTE]