Thursday, March 1, 2012

Long Time

I am such a failure at being a regular blogger. I'm either too busy having adventures or think that my life is too boring for anyone to read about.

I continue to be in love with Christ and love being Catholic. For Lent, I had planned on doing a pre-1962 traditional fast, but as I'm beginning to accept that I have a food addiction problem, the fast soon became a repast.

It looks like I'm going to have to buckle down and take this food addiction seriously and I'm being resistant. Envision a three year old's temper tantrum--that's the inside of my head. I mean, seriously, how can someone be addicted to food? How insane is that?

I'm not obese, I'm not anorexic. But I'm not at a healthy weight and I'm obsessed with all things food-related. Once I start eating something--like dinner--I can't stop until I'm Monty Python full.

I pray that God will give me the Grace to deal with this. It feels right now even more difficult than other sins that I've repented of. And gluttony is a sin, right? No matter how awesome it feels, or how harmless others hold it. It's one of the big Seven. I have noticed that sometimes when I'm praying or doing spiritual reading, my mind will wander to thoughts of food. This is surely a sign that something is amiss, disordered.

Pray for me, huh?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Newb Confessional

I will admit that I'm a dork and here's the proof: I couldn't wait to do my first Confession! I was so anxious I think because here I was attending Mass and RCIA every week without this huge dirty cloud of sin and general ickiness hanging over me. Ugh, how could anyone sit behind me during Mass? Could they even see through that swampy mess?

Anyway, the priest and I finally made an appointment so that I could make my first confession. I was smiling going in but once I closed the door and sat in the chair across from the Father, I realized that I was now in a molasses nightmare. A molasses nightmare is where the guy with the chainsaw, jello shots, and baggy pants is chasing you and the atmosphere has turned into thick molasses, filling your nose and brain with sticky goo. The gift of a moveable let alone pliable tongue left me. I lost all sensation of peripheral vision.

Fortunately I had a list of sin hints to help me because I'd pretty much forgotten everything that I absolutely had to confess (except the big one, which the priest already knew about). For you cradle Catholics, let me just tell you that forty odd years (YEARS) of sins is overwhelming. Especially if your motto in your twenties and thirties was to live like you mean and leave an ugly corpse. So I read down the list, alphabetically. Mumbling. I'd say the word, sink a little deeper into my chair, squirm, say another word. I think I might have even confessed to something that was physically impossible.

I have to say that I've read how other people leave the confessional feeling awesome but for me, I've got to get out of the shadow of that little room and into a pew before I start feeling squeaky clean and filled with peace and light. It's the monster who lived under the basement stairs or in the barn at night all over again. I wasn't at all worried about the creepy green and putrefying claws until I turned out the last light and was heading back towards the light in the house or at the top of the stairs. Then I knew with absolute certainty that it was coming for me. I could feel the very tips of those poison-dripping hands reaching for the back of my neck. RUN!

"What's wrong?" Asked Mom as I slid into the safety of the light.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Nothing." Breathe.

I love going to confession, so if you're behind me in line, know that I'll be grinning and smiling encouragingly (dork-like) before I go in.

But don't stand too close to the door when I come out, I'll be moving quick.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Can You Change?

From Ezekial 36:24-27

For I will take you from the nations, gather you from all the lands and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Can a Homosexual Become a Heterosexual

I am a moderately active participant in the Apologetics Forum on Catholic Answers Forum. Same sex marriage, homosexuality, masturbation and birth control are all frequent topics over there. One such recent thread was called Can a Homosexual Become a Heterosexual. My friend InSearchofGrace wrote something that then inspired me. Here is her quote and then following my thoughts.


If I have not mentioned it yet in this thread, by God's grace and the individual's motivation, a homosexual can become a heterosexual. For those who are unable to re-orient their sexual attraction away from the same sex and towards the opposite sex, acting on homosexual urges may be sublimated, making for an exquisite offering to God.


Yes, exactly.

I believe that these discussions come about in large part because in the 20th and now 21st century, we came to believe that sex is some sort of inalienable right. Subconsciously it would appear that we as a society believe that if someone is denied "the right to have sex" then that person will (a) explode, (b) die, (c) suffer physical and mental illnesses, and/or (d) become a pedophile. We equate sex with love and love with sex. If someone isn't having sex, then they aren't being loved.

Read many of the posts on this topic on CAF and the sub-text is often just this message. Have you ever noticed how if someone says that they don't watch TV or says they don't a TV, you have this sort of petty "i hate them" kind of thought? Come on, you know what I'm talking about. I think it's the same thing with illicit sex. If you're having or have had or like thinking about illicit sex, then you can't stand the person who rejects illicit sex. You have to bring them down to your level, otherwise, how can you feel good about yourself?

The focus should actually be on God's commandments, God's love sustaining us, and "love others as I have loved you" meaning that the highest form of love is a pure, non-sexual love.

If someone were to ask me how I identify these days, my answer would be simply, "fully compliant with the Catholic Church" because I do not believe that anyone's focus should be on sexuality, it should be on God and being not submissive to God's will, but in full uniformity with God's will. "Thy will be done, and because it is Thy will, it is mine as well."[/QUOTE]

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Down on the Farm

I have fallen well short of my weekly blog post goal. The little 10 acre farm is coming along, the basement has been dug and has walls, three goats (two Saanen does and a little LaMancha/pygmy cross wether), 22 guinea keets, 13 chicks, 2 adult chicken mamas (one to mother each clutch), and 5 juvenile chickens (as yet unsexed) have all taken up residence in the barn. So far, we've collected two eggs, lots of great pictures, knowledge, and a fairly bad case of poison ivy. (Goats love to eat PI, but then when loving on you, spread the oil along with the love.

We've gone to St. Mary's in Derby two Sundays now, as that will be the closest to the farm. St. Mary's has a new priest and he seems very nice, intelligent, sweet, and traditional. What more could you ask for?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Ain't Technology Grand?!

I admit that I am only one or two steps removed from Luddite. Maybe everyone already knows about these really awesome IPhone Apps, but just in case there are others like me...

My favorite IPhone App is Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours) by Surgeworks (DivineOffice.org). Although Fr. Jim was teaching me to work the Christian Prayer book, and I was getting the hang of it, finding this app was beyond exciting. It automatically updates each day with the invitatory, morning, midday, evening and night prayers as well as the office of readings. and most delightful is that all but the midday prayers have an audio option. The audio option includes the prayers and a hymn.

My new favorite, which I just downloaded and am working with, is the Prayer App, also by Surgeworks. With 2000+ Catholic prayers, you should never be at a loss for an appropriate prayer! The Prayers are indexed and searchable. Once you find one you want to use regularly, you can add it to your favorites. Also includes Catholic Doctrine, Chaplets, Novenas, Rosary and Way of the Cross.

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Lesser of Two Evils

The Lesser of Two Evils

This is an awesome blog from Brother Andre on catholicism.org. It certainly doesn't need any comment from me. Enjoy!