Wednesday, June 1, 2011

on the gay thing

Up until about September of 2010, I identified as a lesbian. Out and proud. Although I hadn't marched in any pride parades since college, I didn't hide who or what I was. Then I discovered the Catholic Church. I say "discovered" because that's really what it was like--finding something you never knew was there.

After much soul-searching, intellectualizing, reading, debating, and trying to find a compromise, I allowed myself to admit that I could not continue to act on my homosexual feelings. I felt God's calling, the pull of Him, that powerfully.

I believe the Church's teachings on these matters, e.g., that having feelings of same-sex attraction is not a sin. Acting on those feelings is a sin. God calls all of us--hetersexual, homosexual and bisexual to chastity according to our state in life. If you are not married, you are called to celibacy. If you are a priest or other religious, you are called to lifelong celibacy. If you never marry, celibacy. If you are married, you are still called to chastity, in that you are required to be faithful to your spouse and all that goes with that.

There isn't anything special about people with SSA. Nothing special, really, about our "cross". I have a friend, we'll call her Bella. Bella is single, over 40, never married, devoutly Catholic. She has never met the one man who would be her future husband. She's still called to refrain from sexual relations. Is her cross lighter than someone who has SSA and is called to refrain from acting on those feelings?

We've allowed ourselves as a society to be drug into the gutter where our be all and end all, our identity, and our very fulfillment is found in sex.

I do NOT choose to allow my sexuality to define me.

2 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Michelle. Though we didn't experience or embrace the exact same circumstances or philosophies, God was calling both of us home. I try to tell people there is peace and joy when one returns to Him.

    May He bless you profoundly and make you a saint.

    Thank you for your encouragement.

    Emil

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  2. It's courageous to share such feelings. As a culture we have been tempted to adopt beliefs that are so wrong, i.e. exerting most of your efforts to make more money and to keep quiet about ethical matters at work if it will effect your bonus, supporting legislature because we want to be nice to everyone, and on and on.

    Many people have natural inclinations that lead them to stray from God's plan for them some share your SSA others like Bella haven't found a spouse, some do marry and then meet their "life's love," alcoholism. We're living in a time that's very misguided when taking a strong stance is tough. One is likely to get slammed for doing so. Yet history has experienced other such times and ethics and goodness don't alter.

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